I sit here

staring out at a lovely morning in San Diego.

It is day 3 of comic con. I have stayed with the same friends for 15 years each comic con. It is miles away from the center of crazy and I love the real world atmosphere that counter balances the downtown over abundance from each con day.

I am in constant need of the balance of both extremes. I have too many wants, desires, thrills of trying the new and loves to choose any one side of things.

This post comes about as I sit at a cafe, with its flying rainbow flags in a proud suburb of acceptance. I do this, without irony, as I listen to the most western AF music that many would deem the opposite to the environment I currently sit in. The music is just as beautiful, part haunting, part lyrical genius and lies in the heart of America.

I skirt both extremes trying to meet it in the middle for my own personal balance.

sweet and salty, light and dark.

I have done this all my life. To understand the complexity of people.

I learned this from my family. I lived under a roof where I first heard the ‘N’ word, and the first place I found out I had an ostracized brother. Two things I had to come to terms with. But it’s the same place that had laughter, Christmas, and a place called home. A youth of dichotomy.

And Yesterday, a famous wrestler died. I remember how cool he was in the 80s, but I don’t miss him now. I liked Rowdy Roddy Pepper better.

When my friend and I found out at my booth, my friend got very quiet. She felt something entirely different and stronger than I did. Not because of who that man had become celebrity wise, but because they always saw him in Florida at the convention circuit. Their kids would sit at his booth. They have memories of the nice man, The giant wrestler that laughed with her children and enjoyed them year after year. The opposite of how I view and saw the man. And there we sat, two opposing feelings, two truths that coexist.

two extremes. Love and hate. Black and white. Sweet n savory.

Country music and gay coffee.

Be well, stop, and think. Have a good day.

Brett Bean